Before I tell you anything, I just want to say that I am doing good here in my college and now, I am also adapting with everything that's changed from being transferred out of home. I am coming to know that there's more to life than cherries and chocolates. It's always in my prayers to have our Koen-cho-sum bless you, my dear Ama and Apa. Maybe, most of the time in life, all we can do is pray. We might believe that there is God or there isn't, but deep inside all of us, we all believe that there's always someone who watches us all and our happiness.
Now, let me share with you something, Ama. Something which didn't bother me for long but now, it does. I have been receiving a call from an unknown caller which started shortly after I bought a new SIM card four years back. The voice makes me feel so familiar to her. With her voice, I have pictured her to be a woman in her late 60's from the Eastern part of Bhutan. The way she speaks is how our older people used to speak back in our village, Trashi Yangtse. The gentleness and compassionate tone in her voice makes it really difficult to reject her call directly saying that she called a wrong number. Each time she calls, I show all my softness to say, "Please Aunt, would you let your son or daughter recheck the number because I am not the Kota Pema that you wanted to call. It's been like 50th time you have called till now. It is just a waste of your time and mobile's account balance. For me, it doesn't matter."
For the past four years, she called at least once a month. And sometimes, even once a week. It didn't really bother me. Rather, I felt sorry for her that she had to waste so much of her energy on having found someone she didn't want to find. It didn't bother me but now, it does. Ama, I know it is really difficult to resist the demise of our beloved Grandma a month ago. It always makes me want to go back to her and still today, I can't believe she is not in this world anymore. I didn't want to remind you about this but what I want to tell you today is that the unknown elderly woman, who calls me owing to her wrong number, reminds me of our beloved Grandma. Their voice are indistinguishably similar. The love and generosity I used to hear in our Grandma's voice, I hear in her.
...still today, I can't believe she is not in this world anymore.I am sure that, by now, she knows that my number is a wrong number that she is calling. But besides the fact, she calls before I forget. Ama, you used to tell me that we meet people by our own fate and it is not a coincidence. You wanted me to appreciate all the people around me. I have shared this incident to one of my friends who suggested me to change my number but I have refused it. I don't want to change my number and it is okay to receive a call from her now. Over some period of time, I feel bonded to someone I don't even know who and where. I am rather happy that I knew how important it is to keep in touch with the ones who are beloved to us. The unknown elderly woman has called me more than anyone who is known to me.
I have concluded that she is an old woman in search of her son. Maybe, no one misses us more than our mother does. One day, their son will marry a lady and leave home. That time, no matter how much a mother loves her son, she have to let go. Only a mother knows what it really is to let go. Ama, I always appreciated how much you valued me as a son. Since I was a child, I read so many fairy tales and always wanted to meet an angel not realizing that you were the real angel.
Only a mother knows what it really is to let go.
Yours
Son
